How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
