I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
