There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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