I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
