Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I need a burrito and a hug.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
