the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
