Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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