Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize
