Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
