i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
