At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
