I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
