white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dignity is for republicans.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
