can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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