My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
