Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
