I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
