yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
