all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You're like the curious george of whores
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
