we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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