the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
