I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
