You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
this just has baby written all over it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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