addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my shit smells like andre
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
