i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
