I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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