Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
