..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
