after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
