I'm going to jail i love you
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
