Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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