Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
