Too much gin, very little bucket
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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