thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
