everyone is single if you try hard enough
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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