The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
