i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
