So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
