State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
