I wish I could punch you in the face.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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