maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
