people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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