You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
