And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
