Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The police scanner is talking about you again....
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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