U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
