Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
