Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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