We named our party play list daddy issues
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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