I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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