I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
