I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
